A comment on my pastoral search

When I say that I am waiting to hear from God, I mean just that. Through whatever medium He chooses to speak.

The following is the text of an email I got from Matt regarding this.

"I read the blog post about your questioning of your calling. You said, "I remember when He called me into ministry that the call was clear and distinct."

What exactly did He call you to? Did He say where? Did He give you the name of a people? A city? A denomination?

Everytime I have heard you talk about your ministry I have heard a description of what you want (e.g. a church with 400 people in a small city or vtown) not a description of what God wants. But if God called you He must have told you wnat He wants.

When Fraces of Assisi was called he couldn't control himself, he had to preach. And for lack of an audience he preached to birds. When my dad was called he preached to trees when he deidn't have people to preach to. Do you have that feeling of "fire shut up in your bones" described by the Holy Prophet Jeremiah?

If you are called to preach then preach. But know that God doesn't owe you a thing. Not a living, not a house, not respectability, not a career path, not a middle class lifestyle, not a familoy, not food, not even an audience to hear your words. But if you are a precher then none of that stuff ought to matter. If He called you then obey the call. But if you called yourself stick to banking. There is nothing bad about being a banker."

It is words like this from a close and trusted friend that carry much weight. I have been brooding over them the last few days and will continue to do so until the end of May.

By the way, I'm still working on the church fathers book. I had to balance it out with a light baseball book. Reading Basil the Great can cause headaches after awhile.

A divergence from normal reading

Okay, no more Faulkner, Dickens or Poe...at least this week.

I'm digging into one of my dad's books called "Zim: A Baseball Life". Don Zimmer has been a player, coach and manager in the major leagues for the past 50 years or so. He played with Pee Wee Reese and Jackie Robinson, managed the Cubs and Red Sox and coached for the Yankees for many years. This is his baseball memoir.

Zim is pudgy, cherubic with a pixie-like smile and a face like lumby oatmeal. Who culd not love such a guy?? He's got a plate in his head from being beaned and famously got thrown to the ground by Pedro Martinez about 8 years ago. This will be fun reading.

Excited about May 24

We haven't had a dinner party in a long time but we are having one on May 24. Zack is coming over...haven't seen him in 5 years. Matt and his family are coming also (unbeknownst to Zack). What to make? I might ask matt to make his famous French onion soup. I'm considering the filet mignon with mushroom ragou, but nothing firm yet.

Gregory of Nazianzus

Great quote about the humanity and divinity of Jesus

"He ws baptized as man-but He remmited sins as God...He was tempted as man but He conquored as God...He hungered-but he fed thousands...He was wearied, but He is the rest of them that are weary and heavy-laden...He prays but He hears prayer. He weeps, but He causes tears to cease. He asks where Lazarus was laid, for He was man; but He raises Lazarus, fur He was God. He is sold, and very cheap, for it is only for thirty pieces of silver, but He redeems vthe world, and that at a great price, for the price was His own blood...as a sheep He is led to the slaughter, but He is the SPeherd of Israel and now of the whole world also. As a lamb He is silent, yet He is the Word, and is proclaimed by the voice of one crying in the wilderness. He is bruised and wounded, but He heals every disease and very infirmity...He dies, but gives life, and by His death destroys death."

How an ancient controversy can help us today

Way back in the 4th century an issue developed which became known as the Arian controversy. A man by the name of Arian began to question the pure divinity of Jesus. Could Jesus be divine in the same sense that God the Father was divine? He posited that there was a time when Christ was not, even if that was a time before time as we properly understand it began. The ultimate end of Arius' arguement is that Christ was in some sense a created eeing, even though he went out of his way to stress that Christ was divine in some sense.

The great theologian and church leader Athanasius would have none of this and made carefully reasoned and nuanced arguments that Christ was every bit as divine as God the Father was. He chose his words carefully to refute what became known also as the Arian heresy.

What does such an ancient discussion and debate have to do with us in 2008? Several things. The first is that we need to be careful how we speak of God. What words do we use and what terminology do we employ to describe and talk about God?

The second is that it is difficult to wholly compare God the Father to human fathers. One of the mistakes that Arius made is using human, natural terminology to describe that which cannot be described. Our human fathers are fallible, sinful and in some cases are just bad fathers. To compare our human definition of a father to God does a disservice to God becausw we are describing different things. For someone who has had a difficult time with their own human father we need to stress that God the Father does not act like their human father.

Sometimes it is easier to say what we do not mean when talking about God than to talk about what we do mean. For those who have had poor experiences with fathers, our God does not act like that. The ideal view of a father, one who loves and protects is what is in view.

Studying theology with the church fathers

This is a title of a new book I am working my way through by CHristopher Hall. He also wrote another one called "Reading Scripture with the Church Fathers". The whole idea of these 2 books is to back to some of the earlier fathers in the faith (Justin Martyr, Augustine, Athanasius, etc.) to see what they thought and said and about crucial theological issues. What did they say about how Christ related to the Father? What is the Holy Spirit's purpose? What is the church and how is it to operate?

There is a danger in the church today of inventing theology (can you hear me all you Emerfing Church people??) How can we be so arrogant as to think that we, after 2000 years finally have discovered what Scripture says about such crucial issues?

Stay tuned for a trip through this book

Seeking God

In the aftermath of Wisconsin, Christa and I are doing a little reevaluating of where we are and what we are doing. I've got a great new job at Westamerica Bank, but are we still going into full-time ministry and if so when?

We are going to take until the end of May to really seek God on this and look for a sign or answer from Him. I don't really consider that I am questioning my call as much as I am trying to clarify it. There is precedent in Scripture. Luke tells the story of when John the Baptist was in prison. He was asking if Christ really was the one or whether to look for another. He had been preaching Christ but now needed some clarification and reassurance.

What kind of sign are we looking for from God? I don't know. I remember when He called me into ministry that the call was clar and distinct. There was no mistaking it. Now I go to Him again, asking for a sign that we are on the right path. What will He send? I have no expectations other than wanting to hear from God. To this end, I am making the choice to fast every Monday and Friday in May until dinner as a way of seeking The Lord's Face in this